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I walked around the classroom with all of the other two-year olds, circling the room. Why are we doing this? The teacher tells me to go back to the 3 year old’s class but then she sends me back to the 4 year old class because I can already read. Where am I supposed to be? I hope I get to marry Paul, but Cheri is prettier than I am. I am so surprised I won the math race and I feel special how all the 2nd graders are celebrating me winning. I can’t believe Kent picked me up in front of the whole class. How embarrassing. Why is Ms. Mercier so mean to us? And she’s so pretty too. But then she makes us speak French and if we cry she threatens to tell our parents. I got a 107 on the history test! I never do good on tests. I did 100 pull-ups for PE. No one else did more than 10. I feel so important! Kids in Jr. High are so mean and snobbish. How do the girls know how to do their hair and makeup? And the boys are so cute, I can’t talk to them. Theresa is my best friend but she likes to smoke and drink, and all my friends are having sex. But I just kissed a boy for the first time and it was weird because I am only a freshman but he’s a popular sophomore. Nana died, my light in this world, and now I want to die. I love California, but my mom is forcing us to Maryland. My friends actually like me for me. My heart has been bleeding for two weeks since Ken left me my junior year. College is painful and Benjamin says I ruined his life. My long-life friend has no time for me now, and I feel so far away from Jesus, so I will marry Justin. He has no love for me, only for his co-worker and his dogs. More guys leave me year after year. Now I am pregnant, but he has run away. I am done trying to control this. A year later, someone who knows what love is finds me, and now, eleven years later, we have three precious gifts of God who love me too.